Fuel Prices - Do I Have to Become a Prostitute to Pay for Gas?

After a brief hiatus of not giving a fuck, I am back and ready to provide the world with the automotive content that it craves and deserves. Along with my senior news correspondent, Yuri Bonergarden, there is nothing that will stand in our way of providing car enthusiasts their daily medicine; so get ready.

I cannot fathom a more meaningful way of resuming my role than to bitch about today's gas prices, so that's exactly what I'll be doing! If you don`t like a man speakin`the trufs, please leave now.

Hopefully you guys and gals aren't surprised to learn that I've never worked at a gas station (because let's face it - only retards and immigrants work at gas stations), but our senior news correspondent, Yuri Bonergarden, has obtained some interesting information about this industry, and has been kind enough to share:

1. Most gas stations set their prices not according to how much it costs them to replace the fuel, but in correlation with their closest competitors in the area

2. If one station ups their price per gallon, the rest will follow suit and vice-versa. That's because station owners typically only make two or three cents on every gallon of gasoline sold. Instead, they make their money off of the snacks and drinks inside.

So kids, if there's one thing to take from this lesson, it's that gas stations don't have much control over the price of their fuel, but they really jew you over (pardon my political incorrectness) on the food inside the store.

Hopefully you are all as fortunate as myself, and had the foresight to purchase a fuel-efficient vehicle. If not, and you are among the portion of the population who eats through their stress, DO NOT, I repeat: DO NOT, purchase your food from the gas stations. Why? 'Cause fuck 'em, that's why.

In all seriousness, however, the gas prices aren't going down anytime soon. If you're rich and don't care, I commend you on your success - but for the rest of us, public transit is becoming a more feasible option for daily commuting.

If you are planning on taking public transit to and from work, I must insist that you continue reading. People on buses staaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaannnnnnk, and you're going to want to get drunk before riding the bus to lower your olfactory sensitivity. Also, remember to bring your mp3 player because people on the bus tend to jibber-jabber, and it's very annoying. Last but not least, I feel inclined to recommend that bring your bike so you can minimize your time on the bus.

Obviously I'm not going to bother discussing specific gas prices, but you can check gasbuddy.com if you want to find the cheapest gas near you.

We at Das Auto! are interested in hearing how the current gas prices are affecting you! You won't win anything, but you will temporarily satisfy Yuri Bonergarden's curiosity! Have at 'er in the comments.

How Hard Does Your Suspension Have To Work?

The short answer is that it has to work pretty goddamn hard to keep your vehicle straight, and keep you comfortable during the ride.

Our Senior News Correspondent, Yuri Bonergarden, was directed to the below video where a smart gentleman has attached a camera to his Mazda Miata to capture the suspension travel over a short distance. This resulted in some pretty awesome footage, and I recommend watching it even if you don't own a car or give a shit what I'm talking about.



So even though your ride may still feel bumpy, or your suspension may be tuned stiff, you now have a general idea of how much vibration your suspension is absorbing. The suspension in the video was aftermarket sport suspension, meaning that it was designed for handling and actually absorbs less vibration than what you would get on a stock vehicle designed for comfort.

While I'm on the subject, if you're thinking about purchasing some coilovers for your vehicle, I highly recommend K-Sports. They'll cost you a pretty penny, but I threw a set of fully-adjustables on my 1992 VW Jetta GTX a couple years ago, and I have no regrets. They perform great, and I can raise my vehicle easily in the winter. This is a subject that I've researched extensively, so if anyone has any questions, feel free to ask in the comments section.

FBI Sued for Crashing Ferrari

Catchy title, right? Well it's true, the FBI is being sued by a Detroit insurer after an agent crashed a $750,000 Ferrari F50 into a tree! The lawsuit alleges that he dun goofed, real bad.

As for the Ferrari itself, it began its life in a dealership in Pennsylvania where it was stolen in September of 2003. The dealer submitted a claim for the stolen vehicle to their insurance company, who paid them their claim. Five years later in 2008, the vehicle was found in Kentucky and was held by the FBI as they investigated the case.

While in FBI possession, two mechanically-retarded special agents decided to take it for a drive. The Ferrari vehicle "fishtailed and slid sideways" within only a few seconds of leaving the warehouse where the vehicle was being stored," according to the lawsuit. Some people just can't handle a supercar, apparently.

After the crash, the insurer submitted a claim to the FBI for the cost of the Ferrari, and was denied on two separate occasions, hence the lawsuit.

source: detnews.com

330km/h Speed Record Set - On Ice!

Off the coast of Finland, on the frozen Baltic Sea, a pretty amazing feat has taken place recently. No, I'm not talking about ice fishermen having inappropriate relations with a whale; I'm talking about the new ice-speed record being set by Juha Kankkunen, a four-time world rally champion.

The supercar he was driving was the world's fastest convertible - the Bentley Continental GT - and as the title of this post suggests, 330km/h is the record that was set. 

As you might assume, certain necessary modifcations were done to the Bentley to make it suitable for the freezing conditions, which dipped as low as -30C. These included installing Pirelli winter tires, a rear parachute, and a roll-cage.

Only 4.8 km was needed before hitting the record speed on the 16.5 km course. A representative with Guiness World Records was on hand to verify the achievement.

For those interested in seeing the video, (which I think is pretty goddamn awesome) here it is: